One of the most common dynamics in relationships is the “golden child/scapegoat” dynamic. In essence, this is a situation where one person (the golden child) is favored over all others and is generally thought of as superior. Meanwhile, the person who is negatively impacted by this dynamic (the scapegoat) is usually ignored or devalued. This dynamic can be found in many different types of relationships, but it’s especially common in families with children. Why? Because narcissistic parents often need to be admired and they spend a lot of time and energy trying to please their golden child. Meanwhile, their scapegoat child is left feeling neglected and unworthy. If you know someone who suffers from the golden child/scapegoat dynamic, you may be wondering why it exists and what you can do to help. In this article, we will explore the dynamics behind this type of relationship and provide some tips on how to cope.
Definition of a Narcissist
Narcissists are individuals who have a grandiose sense of self-importance and a need for admiration. They often have a false sense of entitlement and believe they are above the law. This can lead to a pattern of exploiting others, especially those who are closest to them.
A narcissist’s golden child is someone they idealize and take credit for. This person is usually someone who the narcissist feels is talented, exceptional, or beautiful. The scapegoat child is someone whom the narcissist uses to blame for their shortcomings or problems. This person is usually someone who the narcissist feels has done wrong in some way.
The Golden Child/Scapegoat Dynamic in Families
The Golden Child/Scapegoat Dynamic in Families
There is a well-known dynamic in families where one child is considered “the golden child” and everyone else is seen as their “scapegoat.” This phenomenon can be observed in both positive and negative ways, but it typically occurs when the golden child feels insecure or unsupported. They may overcompensate by being excessively good at everything or becoming extremely popular, which makes others feel like they should protect them. Meanwhile, the scapegoat child often suffers from low self-esteem and feels like they’re always getting blamed for something. This creates a cycle of dysfunction where everyone ends up feeling resentful.
Narcissists are particularly prone to this dynamic because they are very insecure individuals. They need to be admired and appreciated, so when things don’t go their way, they lash out at those closest to them. This includes not only their actual family members but also anyone who they perceive as challenging or threatening. As a result, the golden child/scapegoat dynamic can lead to a lot of drama in families who are already struggling with dysfunction. It’s often difficult for the scapegoat child to stand up to their abuser because they feel like he or she will never believe them and will continue to put them down. Unfortunately, this pattern can continue into adulthood, leading to further problems such as depression and substance abuse.
If you’re dealing with someone who exhibits this behavior, don’t hesitate to reach
The Narcissist’s Idealized Image of the Golden Child
The narcissist’s idealized image of the golden child is often a reflection of the way he or she was treated as a child. The narcissist may have been praised for qualities that did not belong to him or herself, or else he or she may have been the only one in the family who was given special treatment. As a result, the narcissistinternalizes this admiration and regards himself or herself as especially worthy, magical, and perfect. The golden child/scapegoat dynamic is often at the root of much suffering in relationships between narcissists and other people.
The narcissist will idealize someone similar to him or her in some way, such as being talented, beautiful, or successful. This person becomes the narcissistic partner’s golden child – meaning that he or she is everything perfect about the narcissist. The golden child can do no wrong and should be deferred to at all costs – even if this means ignoring any wrongdoing on his or her part. The narcissistic partner will also scapegoat (blame) this person when things go wrong in their relationship. This allows the narcissistic partner to avoid taking responsibility for his or her behavior, while still maintaining power over the golden child.
How the Narcissist Deceives the Golden Child
The golden child is often the recipient of the Narcissist’s admiration and attention. The narcissist lavishes this child with gifts, privileges, and special treatment. The golden child is also the one whom the narcissist protects and idealizes. This makes the golden child a valuable target for abuse.
The scapegoat child is often the victim of the Narcissist’s wrath and abuse. The scapegoat child is blamed for everything that goes wrong in the relationship. He or she is made to feel inferior, worthless, and stupid. This creates a powerful dynamic in which the scapegoat child becomes a willing servant or tool of the narcissist.
The Narcissist’s Manipulative Behavior towards the Golden Child
Narcissistic parents have a golden child and a scapegoat child. The golden child is the one who gets all of the love, attention, and affirmation from the narcissistic parent. This child is often incredibly special to the narcissist and feels like they are unable to live without them. The scapegoat child is usually the one who gets dumped on, has their feelings ignored, or is harshly criticized. They are often made to feel like they are responsible for everything that goes wrong in the family.
The Narcissist’s Control over the Golden Child
Narcissists have a “golden child” and a “scapegoat child” dynamic. The golden child is the one who is treated best by the narcissist, lavished with attention, resources, and privileges. The scapegoat child is the one who is blamed for any problems or shortcomings in the narcissist’s life. The scapegoat child usually feels inadequate, downgraded, and unheard. The golden child benefits from the narcissist’s love, protection, and care while the scapegoat child gets hurt and confused.
The dynamics of the golden child/scapegoat are especially apparent in families with narcissistic parents. In these families, there is generally one very special person who is treated better than everyone else. This person may be given preferential treatment in terms of money, food, love, attention…anything that matters to the narcissist. This person may be called a “golden boy,” “golden girl,” or “child of the miracle worker.” The other members of the family often feel neglected or abandoned. They are often not sure what to do or where to turn when things start going wrong in their lives.
The scapegoat role can also be seen in families where there is conflict or disharmony. When things get tough for either the golden child or scapegoat child (or both), they are typically blamed for everything that goes wrong in their life by their narcissistic parent/siblings/other relatives/friends. This puts them under tremendous
Consequences of the Golden Child/Scapegoat Dynamic in Families
The golden child/scapegoat dynamic is a common occurrence in families where a Narcissist is present. The golden child is typically treated very well by the Narcissist, while the scapegoat child is often maltreated and ignored. The purpose of this dynamic is unknown, but it likely serves some psychological or emotional need for the Narcissist.
The golden child/scapegoat dynamic can have serious consequences on the scapegoat child’s development. Often, youngster becomes extremely self-critical and feels like they are useless and have no worth. They may also become hypersensitive to any criticism or negative attention, which can lead to paranoia or other mental health issues. In extreme cases, the young person may even commit suicide as a way of escaping their difficult life.
If you are a victim of the golden child/scapegoat dynamic in your family, it is important to speak up and seek help. You don’t have to suffer in silence – there are resources available that can help you get through this tough time.
Do narcissistic parents choose which child to scapegoat?
There is no definite answer as to why narcissistic parents have a golden child and a scapegoat child. However, there are some possible explanations as to why this might be the case.
One reason may be that the golden child is seen as a reflection of the parent’s self-esteem. If the parent feels they are successful and good at everything, then their golden child is likely to mirror that – being happy, confident, and content with what they have. This can make them feel superior and in control, which could lead to them feeling vindicated if their golden child manages to succeed despite being picked on or criticized by other family members.
However, if the scapegoat child does manage to achieve something worthwhile in life – such as becoming successful or famous – this could lead to resentment from the narcissistic parent who may see their accomplishments undermined. This could lead them to start criticizing or harassing their golden child in an attempt to bring them down so that they once again feel strong and in control.
Who has it a worse golden child or the scapegoat?
Narcissists have a golden child and a scapegoat child. The golden child is the one who is favored, worshipped, and given the most attention. The scapegoat child is the one who is put down, ignored, or made to feel inferior. The reason for this dynamic is that narcissist needs someone to admire and look up to feel good about themselves. When the golden child isn’t meeting their expectations, they can turn on the scapegoat child as a way of justifying their failings. This creates an environment of dependency and manipulation where both children are kept in line by fear and intimidation.
Can you be both the golden child and the scapegoat?
The golden child/scapegoat dynamic is a common pattern seen in relationships between narcissists and their children. The golden child feels special and admired, while the scapegoat child is always blamed for everything that goes wrong in the relationship. The scapegoat child may feel like they have no worth or are never good enough, while the golden child receives all of the love and attention they crave.
This dynamic can be damaging to both parties involved. The golden child often grows up feeling entitled and spoiled, while the scapegoat may develop feelings of self-pity and low self-esteem. The golden child also stands to lose out on opportunities if they are not seen as valuable since their parents will likely redirect resources to their more favored son or daughter. In some cases, the golden child may even become a narcissist themselves, seeking out similar treatment from others to feel appreciated.
Why does the golden child become a narcissist?
Narcissists often have a “golden child” who is adored and favored over all others, while the narcissist’s scapegoat child is maltreated or ignored. This dynamic can arise from the way that the narcissist was treated as a child and the way that they see themselves about others.
The golden child is usually given everything they want, while the scapegoat child is often left feeling empty or resentful. The golden child is shielded from any meaningful criticism, which allows them to maintain their false sense of self-worth. As long as the golden child remains loyal and obedient, the narcissist will continue to shower them with attention and privileges.
However, if the golden child starts to show signs of independence or defiance, they may be cast out of the family altogether. The scapegoat child then becomes the one who receives all of the abuse and mistreatment from their parent(s). This dynamic can create an intense emotional roller coaster for both children, as they are constantly switching between being loved and hated by their narcissistic parents.